Dear Lord Jesus

Please, can you make a way for Doug and I to be together again? My heart and soul miss him so badly. He is the missing part of me. I know you separated us for a reason. I've grown as I'm sure he has also. You've given me a good man and I should be content, but there is a restlessness in me that longs to be free to be with Doug again and feel a connection...he is the only one I can truly connect with. My heart is closed off to anyone else. Always has been. Why, Jesus, why? Help me to "deep freeze" that part of me again. This hurts so much. What does it mean that after 12+ years of being separated from him I can still need him so much? Does he ever miss me? Does he ever think about me? Does he still need me too? I wish I knew, but that is not for me to know right now. This is hard.