All I need....

is a miracle....all I need is you.  I miss you so much.


Lord Jesus, please show Doug the peace of your salvation.  Help him to accept the gift you died to give him.  If he and I can't be together in this life, let us be reunited in heaven with You.  I ask this in Your Name.  Amen.

"Dreams...that's where I have to go...

to see your beautiful face...." - Gavin DeGraw


I was with you in my dream last night, now I miss you more. :-(

Quote

"Most folks aren't with their first choice. That's what keeps the juke-box playing." - Willie Nelson

August 10th 2012.....18 years ago today we met.

On my way home from Lisa's I took the long way home and did a drive by of your house.  Honda and Dodge were both parked outside, so I'm assuming you were there.  Sooooo close I was to you, but yet so far.  You had the garage door up on the barn and a ladder up.  Hope all your work was completed safely.  I had turned the radio volume off as I neared your house.  After I left and headed toward home and was on Rt. 23, I turned the volume up and what was playing?  In Your Eyes.  That was amazing to me.  That song means so much to me because of you.

Someone you care about seeks reconciliation.

My facebook fortune cookie for today.

God, let it be true!

Quote from Love Interrupted message board

LL love is self-contained, and there is no expiration date on it ... no breaking that spell. When you try to cork it and put it on the shelf, it just ages like fine wine. -HQ

June 26th

39th birthday.  Last  year of the 30s.  If we have no contact this next year, that will be all of my thirties without any contact with you.  So sad.  It shouldn't be like this.

Are you thinking of me at all today?

I had a yummy dream about you last night.  I wish it would come true.

I need my anesthesia back

I miss the days when my heart was frozen.  It was like it was numb.  At times the anesthesia would start to wear off and I'd feel the pain, but then another dose would be applied and I would be okay. Through it all I never stopped loving you.  The love has always been there.  Love like this can't die. Not a day has gone by when you haven't crossed my mind.  You are on my mind constantly  now.

I know I can't go back to numbness, because the anesthesia was hurt/anger, unforgiveness, and confusion.  Those are gone now and I have been dealing with my true heart since 2009.   I sooooooo want to run from everything and try again with you, but you have a life with her now.  It would be selfish and unfair for me to interrupt that.  I have to trust that God has me where I'm supposed to be.  It is just so hard to love you sooooo much and not be able to show you.    

Do you ever feel this way?

God, please use this separation for both our good and Your glory.  May Doug know the peace of your salvation though a relationship with your Son.  Don't let this be for nothing.  In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

Saw this posted on Facebook

Sometimes dreams need to die so they can be resurrected in a glorified form. My dream for us died, but the love for you still lives on. God, resurrect my dream in Your glorified form.

16 years ago today

We graduated from MU.

I miss you sooooooo much.

I'll love you forever.

I long for you.

I miss you so much.

Sometimes

Sometimes it was just easier to be angry so I didn't feel the pain of being apart from you. All I really need is to be connected to you again.

"Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt." - Alanis Morisette